I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
