Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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