i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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