I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
