btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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