I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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