yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
