apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
