going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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