okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize