just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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