she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
