Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
