just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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