She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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