That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
