WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
