i jhust puked up my retainher.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
