this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
