We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm getting married
To pizza
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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