Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize