do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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