you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
