i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
