drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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