i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
