I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
