Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
