on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
