Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
