I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
