Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
