she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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