i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
