I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
