i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
