I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think my moral compass just broke
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize