dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
