piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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