just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
