How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
and you fell through a lawn chair
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
