I'm laying in your front yard are you home
where am i from again
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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