I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
