and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
