hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
