drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
