She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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