Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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