Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
