the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
