spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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