There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
