Are we in a gay sports bar?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
a search helicopter?!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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