Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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