You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
