all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
