I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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