I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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