Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize