apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
