She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
