i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize