They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
