already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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